♥Reira♥Layla♥Raera♥

“Objection–”

I stared at the red oak wood; it seemed to stare back at me. The buzzing in my surrounding was never ending, for the past hour it had been making me sick and more nauseous with every passing second. I inhaled the stale air, and tried to feel emotional for something; anything.

“Your honour, this man is –”

I wondered how much I had missed out in life, and sometimes I would dream that maybe one day I could experience a fraction of what I’ve missed. I glanced around me; there were four familiar faces. There was Leslie, the tall crown representative who had a stone carving for a face. She never once winced when blood hurling pictures are revealed. I don’t like her.

“Now, would the defence –”

Justine’s thin fingers struggled against the metal keys, her slight build made the typewriter seem as though it would leap off the desk and crush her. No one ever noticed or cared about her, she wasn’t important out of all the important people in this room. A companion told me last month that Justine’s husband betrayed her and that was why she left him; he also told me that her ex-husband’s lover was lovely. But he is wrong. I always watch Justine and I know she’s the loveliest. She is the only one that seems to care when the death sentence is announced, and she is the only person I’ve cared about. I like her.

“This man –”

I would listen for a bit more, but my mind wouldn’t obey my command. It was off wondering what would happen if this was the last time I would see Justine.

“– Thank you”

A break was called. For fifteen minutes I’d have all attention on me. Everyone here and outside in the media vans would think of, talk about, and decide my fate. Several people would leave to visit the lavatory, but most people would frown in frustration and think of horrible ways to punish me. I tried to see it as humour to hear the occasional few who loudly voice their version of my ‘deserved’ death to their companions. I sighed; I do not like this type of popularity.

“Look at him, how disgusting –”

I stepped over the boundary and was out of the wooden box containing me; the cool silver metal wrapped itself around my wrists before I walked towards the neighbouring room. I waited for Brandon to open the door and quietly entered my favourite place. Even though there was no logical reason to like this room, I cherished the atmosphere it had. Out of all the rooms here, it seems to be the most peaceful of all. I like it here.

“Thank you.” I talked to Brandon who nodded in reply. He never seem to talk, he was just always silently by my side. At times, I’d joke with my inner self that Brandon was really my pet, and that I was being chained and held captive to humour him. However, I’d quickly remember that in reality, I was more likely to be classified as his pet; a pet that he guarded but didn’t want. I don’t like being unwanted.

I walked in and saw the exact table I remember from twelve years ago, and the same chair was still there for me to sit on. Everything was the same besides the bottle of water and the single piece of bread provided for me. I wasn’t sure if this stretched the rules, or if the regulations have changed. All I knew was that when I was sixteen, food was not allowed in court or in this room. I like this change.

“Court now in session, would–”

My fifteen minutes were gone before I finished my bread, I found myself back in my box in front of the audience full of people who loathed me. I felt nauseous again but I didn't say anything, no one here really cared about how I felt anyways. I coughed and looked directly before me, there I saw the last person whom I knew, Carol. He sat higher up and was above the rest; he was the god of this room. His words decide who shall be blessed with innocence, and who shall be condemned to living hell or death. He was the worshipper of human rights, he was honourable, and he was the judge. Yet he was wrong then, as he is wrong now, and I still hate him.

“Accused, do you plead guilty or –”

I had a chance when there was a jury, but Carol took them away.

I had a chance when I was sixteen, but now I’m twenty eight.

I had a chance when I cared to live, but I’ll be dead anyways.

“Guilty.” I replied.

I then snorted in laughter. My lungs heaved in and out as I choked out my wheezy howls of glee. In my heart, I was pleading guilty for the crime I committed when I was sixteen, but everyone thinks I’ve pled guilty to the crime for which I know I’m innocent of – the crime of murdering Carol’s mistress. Of course, no one even knew Carol had a mistress. Many, unlike me, believe that he is faithful and have never turned away from his wife, God, or righteousness.

“Carol, your honour, I’ve plead guilty now.” I stood up and raised my hands high into the air, “Twelve years ago I killed Stephanie Ross and I didn’t pay with my life, and now instead of you it’s me who’s here, to be punished for Rosalie’s murder. I guess perhaps justice has been served since one killer is prosecuted.”

“Order!” Carol smacked his little hammer and screeched in full volume, “Order in the courtroom.”

I laughed as Brandon held me down, his chubby fingers pinning me down to my seat as two other guards rushed forward to help him. A handful of tears gathered in my eyes, several ounces of that spilt down my face. I finally knew the meaning of crying a river.

I struggled against the guards, still laughing. Then, I finally understood that there really was something wrong with me. I finally felt that perhaps the doctors have always been right and that I am out of my mind. I feared for my sanity, but in the same instant I felt the fear come, it left. After all, why would an insane person wish for sanity at the moment prior to death?

I decided to have fun. If I was going to die at the age of twenty eight, I might as well experience the teenager rebellion years that I missed until the moment I die.

Carol placed me in jail where he left me to rot for ten years. When I was finally released at the age of twenty six, fate brought me to fall in love with Justine, his beautiful wife. My love for Justine led to my forgiveness of Carol, but he fell in love with Rosalie and broke my angel’s heart.

For my crime, he punished me. So for his crime, I wanted to kill him. It was just my bad luck that Justine’s love for him was so strong. I couldn’t hurt Justine, so I took Rosalie instead. I told Rosalie the chocolates were from Carol, and she took her own life with them. It was never my fault.

“Justine, I punished her for you, live on happy and well. If anyone hurts you again, I’ll kill them as a ghost. I’ll be your guardian.”

I laughed harder until my throat ached, and suddenly I collapsed to the ground. The right side of my cheek seemed to tear apart and burn as I slid face first across the wooden ground. Then I saw the blood on my hands, I had taken a blade from the guard, and sliced Brandon’s forearm. I laughed. The blood was so much more vibrant than the red of the oak wood furnace.

The laughter made my throat dry, but I still cackled through the flaming sensation building up in my chest. I looked around, everyone was terrified of me, and no one dared to approach. I was ready and eager to see every fearful face but my heart wasn't ready to see Justine. When my eyes landed on her tear stained face, I wanted to reach for her – I felt for her.

“Justine… I love you.” I screamed. “I always had, and I always will.”

I could see Carol rushing towards her from behind his podium, I willed myself to ignore his presence.

“Justine, I killed her for you. No, no, don't thank me… she deserved to die.” I grinned from ear to ear. “You were the only one generous to me when I was sixteen; you were the only one who didn't treat me like scum when even my family abandoned me. I didn’t know how to thank you, so I wanted to kill the person ruining your life. It was sick gratitude, but gratitude still. I hope you’d understand.”

The entire room was silent as I said my last words; I thanked God for the silent audience he provided for me.

“Justine, please live happily from now on.” I smiled, and made no more stupid gestures to pull away from the prison guards. “Live for me as well.”

A gun was pointed my way, when I realised that it was Carol’s index finger holding the trigger. I raised the blade and pointed it at him. I suppose no one expected me to flip the blade around and stabbed towards my own heart.

“Good bye Justine.” I wasn’t sure if my blade pierced me first, or if his bullet punctured me earlier. Either way, it hurt.

As my vision clouded from blood red then to an inky black, I let myself decay as I thought I felt Justine’s arms surround my corpse.

He left me behind

          to pursue his dream,

His last embrace dropped

        to let my friend’s arms take me in.

His last kiss lingers

        to this day,

His fingers unlaced from mine

        forcing me to grasp the cool empty space.

His back turned

        to walk away,

His words drowned out

        by the rush of the streets.

He looked back

        to see my tears,

He is gone

        but everything of his remain.

I walked away

        to seek my own place,

Everywhere I turn

        I recall his face.

His smile is my scar,

his laughter ring within my ears.

His previous words bring memories,

        his scent taint my every dream.

He is gone.

        But he remains with me

The second hand tick, another moment is gone,

Another instant of life – refuse to linger on.

Sunrise to sundown, another rotation is gone,

The moon looks down – upon repetition.

Seasons pass, flowers bloom to die and is gone,

Trees shed their leaves – to whisper goodbye.

People move on, they love and hate and will be gone,

It’s the way life works – today and so on.

What’s here today, tomorrow will be gone,

Why cry when you can laugh?

Why hate when you can love?

Why dream when you can feel?

Why hold your breath when life will soon be gone?

A hero is someone that is distinguished for courage and ability, one who is respected for his/her bravery and noble qualities. A hero is also someone who has heroic qualities in the eyes of another; these qualities include determination, loyalty, courage, and perseverance amongst many respected attributes. The hero that’s given me strength and hope for 3 years to date is JaeJoong Kim. JaeJoong is the main vocalist in a Korean band, though I’m only one out of his 800,000 registered fans, I believe I can speak for the majority of this massive fan club that JaeJoong is a hero.

JaeJoong has the heroism it takes to be considered a modern hero; the most attractive quality is his determination. JaeJoong wanted to sing for the world, he wanted to present the world with the best he can. Regardless of the countless obstacles he faced to chase his dream, he never gave up. Regardless of the cruelty and threats he faced, he never lost faith in his songs. Regardless of the difficulty he handles behind the luxurious stage, he always smiled and encouraged his fans. JaeJoong is a hero and a role model, his determination set an example that numerous fans have chose to follow. From the first time he appeared on stage with his four fellow band mates, he sang with all that he felt, from the first time his passion and love attracted dozens. His first song was performed on December 26th of 2003. Last week almost five years since debut, he performed again on the same stage for the same event. JaeJoong’s voice still held his passion; his eyes still loved all his fans. Regardless of dozens of offers to sing for a ‘better’ band and higher paycheques, JaeJoong remains loyal to the four band mates he debut with.

Courage is easy when you have nothing to lose, but when you have everything at stake, courage is hard to maintain. JaeJoong’s band, ‘Dong Bang Shin Ki’, dominated South Korea within 730 days, becoming one of the top bands in their ‘newbie’ years. Their company soon had bigger ambitions; they wanted the band to dominate Japan, China, Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore as well. JaeJoong left his home country, practised by day, and learned languages by night. He stepped out of his comfort zone and faced the challenge of foreign countries. He took every criticism in five new languages, handled stress without showing his loneliness to any person or camera, and lived with every fellow celebrity discriminating against him and his band. Now years after he’s won the heart of fans all across Asia, he admits that it indeed was difficult to be away from home. However, during those hard times, JaeJoong never once showed his fans any discomfort he felt. JaeJoong had fears, but he chose to face them head on. JaeJoong told no one of his pains, but he took care of his fellow band mate’s. JaeJoong worried for others, and hide his difficulties so no one would need to worry for him. That is courage.

 Many celebrities change after they’re famous enough; many adopt attitudes and habits that their fans did not fall for. JaeJoong always try to remain the same. His perseverance of his original dream has been kept nicely in tact. JaeJoong wanted to bring the best music to his fans, and he is fully aware that riches will block him from his passion. Therefore, up to date, JaeJoong refused to change to a more luxurious apartment, or to have his own private apartment away from the other four members. JaeJoong spend hours composing songs, and writing lyrics for their next album. His love and dedication is valuable, and has influenced many to persevere when it comes to chasing and fulfilling your dreams. JaeJoong is a hero to me, JaeJoong is a hero to 800,000 others, and JaeJoong may be your hero too if you allow yourself to see.